If I died today.
Would I look back at this life
With great appreciation for the love I’ve shared or
Or wish I had done more?
I’m pretty sure being dead will be awesome.
Lots of evidence pointing to that.
But, you really can’t know until you know and
I really don’t want to find out anytime soon.
I’ve been kept alive a few times already,
Giving me a sense of a greater plan.
And when I listen inside I know now is not my time to go.
The wave of my life is still swelling,
The crest maybe a decade ahead.
Perhaps exactly how I do things
Won’t matter all that much.
I feel so in-between lately.
The past falling away fast,
Quickly gathering what’s most important
To leap into the unknown just ahead.
Worry and overwhelm at my neck.
My heart pulsing like a homing device.
Feedback from the world around me
At odds with what I’m feeling inside.
The contrast and speed
Rev something inside me,
Oscillating with increasing power
Like being turned into an engine.
Is this transformation?
So much movement and energy inside
Complete presence needed to focus it.
No longer listening
To the outside word
The signal from inside me
Growing louder and louder.
What if I say yes to this?
Where will it take me?
What will it require?
What will it cost?
Ping, Ping, Ping
My heart still responding
To some beacon I can’t see
Am I getting warmer?
A dive into my heart.
Like falling through a wormhole.
Where am I now?
Is this another timeline? Dimension?
It looks the same outside of me,
But feels completely different inside.
Like the great rubber band on my life
Snapped into place.
My heart is no longer pinging.
We have arrived.